She then asked me questions about our wedding and everything that had led to it. I later kicked myself for having misunderstood their questions as friendly banter.
Then the other woman, who had remained silent until then, asked me for proof. When many Indians see one of their women with a man of a different race, they make assumptions, and offer unsolicited advice.
Many Americans hold an ideal that regardless of social standing, culture, economic status, educational background and religion, love will overcome all these problems and make everything ‘ok.’ This can be true if and only if the couple have extensive discussions before marriage about expectations after marriage and into the long term, such as both partners’ career aspirations, family planning, traditions, values, choosing the place to live among many other variables.
Of course, not everything can be breached ahead of time.
But when curious glances turned to quizzical looks, we began to realise that we were considered an oddity: A brown woman with a white man. ” one of the two women asked me as soon as my husband left my side.
“My husband,” I replied after a while, snapping out of savouring my first-ever snorkelling session.
Chris, her American boyfriend, had accompanied her.
I wondered whether she would have felt as much concern over my being so far away from my mother had I married an Indian.If romantic love is not confined to the community, which is as narrow as a person’s worldview, it becomes, in the minds of some, a serious threat to the social order.Through the last fifteen years of being involved in the Indian community and interacting with many non-Indian, Western,and white women who struggle with relationships and commitments with their Indian boyfriends, I share the top three mistakes that most of these women make while trying to overcome the challenges of acceptance from their Indian boyfriend or to-be's family.An Indian woman who has got a white man must be enlightened, even by complete strangers.
A lawyer whose services I was seeking for a few marriage-related formalities started by giving me a sermon on running a background check on the man I wanted to marry because “you never know how these s are.” I didn’t call on her again.Probably every woman in India has one story about having been subject to lecherous looks as she has walked down the street. The male gaze turns more brazen by several orders of magnitude.