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Most were depicted as overtly feminine, white males and I just couldn’t relate to these personas.I remember my parents once saying that they liked ‘gay, white men’, (having seen and embraced these token comedic characters on tv) but ‘felt sick’ at the idea of a gay, black man.I’ve also found that some white men refuse to date black men, but will sleep with them if they satisfy the aforementioned ‘masculine’ stereotypes.Strangely, I also bought into this stereotype of what a black man ‘should be’.I remember thinking of ways in which I could ‘reinvent’ myself, and make myself ‘cool’.

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This convoluted self-identity started to have its implications.Growing up I often questioned my sexuality; although I recognised and accepted my attraction to men, I knew from a young age, that there would come a time when my parents would discover I was gay, and that this would be a significant and extremely difficult moment in my life.

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